Doctor Appt Update

So I had my 2nd OB appt yesterday. It went pretty well. I found out some more stuff but for the most part it was a quick appt and not too eventful. My doctor measured my pelvis and used the doppler to listen to the heartbeats which he said was really hard to do with twins because its hard to distinguish the two heartbeats. He found what I think was baby A's hb and then mine LOL and then possibly baby B's hb but he said its just hard to say for sure that we aren't hearing the first one's hb again but not to worry. So I won't. Then we talked about a few other things like my next OB appt will be in 4 weeks and they will do a blood test to test for some abnormalities like neural tubular defect, etc. Then he also put in an order to do the 4 quad check of the babies hearts and at that time we can find out the sexes so that will be in approximately 7 weeks. I can't wait to see the babies again and to find out what we're having!! :) He also sort of changed my due date to my 38 wk mark so I guess I will consider August 23, 2010 my due date... He said we won't let twin mommies go past 38 weeks so if you get to 38 wks we'll enduce your labor. He also said unless I already had a c-section they would hope for a natural birth. He said if both babies heads are down we'll go natural. If baby A(first baby) is head down but baby B is not they could either do natural and attempt to turn baby B or I could choose to do c-section which I will definitely opt for. I don't want baby B to go through that kind of stress. He said definitely if Baby A is not heads down or both babies are not heads down we'll do a c-section. I guess I am okay with the plan. I would really like to do natural birth but I don't want my babies to be in any risk by not doing c-section either. I will have to do more research but I know God will take care of us and maybe I will just let it be up to Him :)

Why??? Do people think everyone needs to know?

Ugh! I am so annoyed right now. So back when dh and I decided to do IVF and after a lot of thought, I decided to share with all our parents (dh's parents, my mom & stepdad, my dad & his gf), our siblings, and my grandma we were doing IVF. I decided that I wanted their prayers and support throughout the IVF process and it took a lot for me to do that. I concluded that it was more worth it to have their prayers and support than to have my pride. Well, I asked them all not to say anything to anyone and now that it has worked, everyone keeps asking me if we are going to tell people we did IVF. It really urks me especially since I have told them all multiple times NO. Granted I am a hormonal pregnant woman right now and it doesn't take much to irratate me off but seriously it's no one's business how we conceived! I mean, do I go around asking pregnant women and people with children how they got KU? No, its not important, relevant, nor my business. They also don't walk around with a sign on their foreheads that said we conceived one drunken night in a bathroom stall at a bar or whatever their story may be. Its a very private and intimate matter between the mother and the father and that most people if they need to fill in the blanks just do so in their head. Just because our story is more scientific doesn't make it any less private or intimate. It just really makes me almost regret telling these people (our family). Not all are being like that well basically they all are except for my sister and brother and I'm really not sure how dh's bro & SIL feel about it yet but I mean I feel like I have made it very clear my feelings on it. I will share it if I feel I can help someone and I won't lie if someone directly asks me (although I may be crabby about it because I think its utterly rude of them to ask such a personal question). I am just tired of having to reconfirm that I don't want my babies to be labeled invitro babies or for me and dh to be the talk of the town that we have conception issues. Not to mention we're catholic and catholic's don't all agree with AI, obviously some of us do, but it is a part of the catholic's belief that AI is not an option. Neither is birth control or sex before marriage and so yes admittedly I've sinned but I have been forgiven and I think in this case I disagree with the catholic belief but I do not want to be shunned because of it either. I like being catholic and I don't want to start a new faith for disagreeing with one or two things. I am sure there are people of all religions that might not agree with every single thing their religion stands for. Anyhow, enough religion babble. I am just annoyed with like say my MIL who was asked by her sister and BIL if dh and I were TTC and she says yes (eventhough she knew we were pg, she also knew we wanted to wait until after 1st tri to announce to the world) good, great but then she throws out there that she thinks I am doing hormone shots. OMG! WTH? Why would she say that?? Great so now she's created this room for them to possibly ask us about these shots when we announce we're having twins. I am just so annoyed. Its like why would you say anything? GRRRR! I love her and I hate her. She's not even religious and seems like it would be easy for her to lie and she technically did but did a horrible job about it! Good grief! And her sister is SOOOO nosey and not really that nice. She will probably ask us directly about it and I wouldn't doubt it if she asked us in front of the rest of the family for that matter. She has no tact or respect for boundaries. I think I will just say no I am not sure why MIL thought that, guess she was mistaken but I too don't want to lie, I just want to keep my business to myself. There's so much more I could say about that but I better leave it at that because I am getting more pissed off just thinking about it. So then last night my dad was like well your going to tell people right? I was like about what and he was like about the IVF and I said no I don't plan on it. He says well honey you know with twins people just assume. I was like DAD! Your brother and sister are fraternal twins, it is all genetic and not that far fetched! Let them draw their own conclusions. Again I told him its none of their business how we conceived and if directly asked I won't lie but I am not going around making it public knowledge. It just bugs me! I see where these people are coming from but they have no idea. Even after conquering IF I am still an IFer and I HATE how the world has no idea the pain of IF and the feeling of inadequacy. I don't want anyone that is ill willed or ignorant to come to the conclusion that God didn't want us to have babies or it would have happened for us or whatever idiotic thoughts some might have in regards to IF. I am very angry about this, I need to let it go. Live and let live. I am just tired of it haunting me daily lately. Sorry for the long rambled on blog, I needed to get that off my chest. Thanks for hearing me ladies. I hope I have not offended anyone, that was and never is my intention. (((HUGS)))

Posted baby pics :)

Well I thought I would post some of our baby u/s pics so everyone can see how cute they are :) I didn't have my blog started when I had my ultrasounds so I will just give some highlights. Our first u/s the nurse inserted the wand then quickly went from one side to the other. I thought to myself, hey lady slow down we wanna see too! Then she said well... and I my heart dropped I was like OH NO!!! Then she finishes and says what I am seeing here is two babies. OMG! I look at dh and he looked like a deer caught in headlights with a strange smirk I am not sure I've ever seen before. It was really cute. I said I told you they were both still in there :) It was crazy anyway though. I mean I thought for sure they were both in there but then the night before I had to bring myself down to reality and remind myself not to be disappointed or sound disappointed if they tell us there is just one baby so it was like I had convinced myself most likely there will just be one. I mean no matter what I was soooooo happy to finally be pregnant and would be happy no matter what so long as our baby(s) were healthy! And viola we find out we are having twins! :) It was amazing hearing their heartbeats. I think that was the most amazing part. It was cool seeing our babies too but they looked more like tiny dinosaurs than babies so the heartbeats really rang home with me more so than seeing them on the screen.

The next ultrasound was at my OB office just last Friday. It was awesome to confirm both still had stong heartbeats and were growing! This time they looked more like actual babies and baby B was bouncing and dancing around while baby A was sleeping which if I could have been I would have been too! Our appt was at 7:40 a.m.! Baby A did wake up and wiggle around some so that was good and the ultrasound tech said she thought baby A is a girl and Baby B is a boy. I kind of think that too because baby A is smaller by 2 days and Baby B would be like his dad (dad can't sit still) LOL! Two of my friends said they thought just the opposite. That girls are more active. I think I should do a poll or something to see what everyone thinks. Anyhow, hope you enjoy our baby pics!

One of those days...

Well I am having one of those days where it's only 9 a.m. and I am thinking I never should have gotten out of bed! First I am on my way into work walking across the parking lot from my car and I am just about to step off the parking lot onto the long sidewalk that heads to the entrance of the building and bam!!! I hit this lovely invisible sheet of ice and fly up in the air, one shoe goes flying into the snow bank on the other side of the sidewalk, I fall on my back (which has my backpack on it WITH... my laptop in it!!!) and my purse dumps out all over the sidewalk. Luckily I am just a little whiplashed no real damage and my backpack and purse seem to have braced my fall for the most part. I had two kind ladies witness the entire thing which was just fabulous! Well I guess if I really have issues, say tomorrow, I can still file a report with witnesses so maybe that's a good thing despite my mortification. I was in a hurry this morning and since I was going to wear some pumps (very short heels) I decided I didn't need dress socks so they help me up and I hop over with a bare foot to my shoe that is conveniently filled with snow all the way to the brim! I try my best to get it all out but its like powder so I end up putting on an ice cold, slightly snow filled shoe. Then I get up to my office with a very cold and wet foot, only to find that my laptop battery is cracked! OOPS! Good thing that's the most of the damage and that I am okay and my babies are fine. Could have been a lot worse!

So then about 5 minutes ago I almost pulled another pregnant moment and keep in mind, my boss and all but 3 co-worker/friends have NO clue I am pregnant (well at least that's what I am telling myself :)). Last week I accidently saved a file over another file (that was not mine) that had taken a whole year to produce and no one had back up! OMG! OOPS! Well IT was able to recover it but I had to admit that I did such a stupid stupid thing and I couldn't even use the pg card because like I mentioned no one knows yet! So anyhow I just got this email from a customer that was really rude. I was actually cc'd on it as he sent it to our meeting planner. Well I thought I would say something to her (the meeting planner) about it so I hit reply and say "WOW this guy is BOSSY!" and just as I am about to hit send I realize OMG I hit reply not FWD and this was just about to go straight to the customer! I would have been canned, I am sure, had I done that. So I immediately erased it and decided never to send something like that again, no matter what. I will just mention it to her in passing! Good grief is this day over yet because I need to get back in bed???!!!

Today's reflections

So I sit here thinking how crazy it is that I am already 11 weeks pregnant and in just 2 weeks, everyone will know we're pregnant and that we're pregnant with twins!!! Such a wonderful blessing or should I say blessingS from God. We prayed and prayed for a miracle and He finally gave us more than we ever could have hoped for. He gave us two beautiful miracles! It just seems so unreal that next year at this time we will have a full house :) Our babies will likely be crawling around by this time next year and to think last year at this time, I was almost coming to terms with possibly never being able to conceive our own children and contemplating doing IUI or IVF and whether or not we could afford to do either. I have so much to be thankful for and so much hope for anyone struggling with IF. A part of me thinks I should be very open with my IF struggles and my success with IVF with my non-IF friends/family but I still feel like its such a personal issue that only an IFer can truely understand so I guess you can say I am afraid to put myself out there. Which is so sad because there are others like me that can benefit from knowing my struggle if only they knew I was like them. I have two weeks to think about it, I guess. Its hard with twins, I think. I mean, my dad's siblings are actually twins so I guess I can use that card and my mother's cousin had twins and my dh's mother's cousins are twins so its not like it couldn't be hereditary and all but my dh's second cousins are fraternal twins but it just seems like people will assume you did some sort of IF treatment to end up with multiples. I guess that's just my paranoid thinking. I mean would I know that if I hadn't went through IF?