Very scary day

So Friday I went into labor. 26w5d I went into labor. Luckily they were able to stop it but here's the story. I was leaving work at 4 and I had this horrible back ache and a side ache and something just didn't seem right. Driving home I thought okay either I am having contractions or the babies are really moving around, I think I just didn't want it to really be contractions. It happened to be dh's birthday and I needed to pick up his gift on the way home and we had dinner reservations at 7:30. I work about an hour from home so i get to the store (2 miles from home) to get dh's gift and I am really uncomfortable.It's now about 5. I finally get what I need and I am home by about 5:20. I told dh sort of jokingly I think I am going into labor so I just need to relax before dinner. I laid down on the couch and he laid on the other (he's been fighting a cold/virus for a couple weeks). Next thing I know I am having contractions more frequently and I know for sure now they are definitely contractions so I call my OB at 5:50 and have 3 contractions every 5 mins for 15 mins just waiting on hold for the nurse. She pages the doctor on call and he calls me right back. He tells me to go to L&D. We get there 5 mins later at 6:30 and apparently my contracts were now 3 mins apart and 1 cm dialated. They monitored the contractions and the babies hbs (which they were having a very hard time finding) I knew the girls were ok b/c they were moving around and kicking like usual but I did want the reassurance. Finally they were able to confirm their hbs were good. So at 7:30 they gave me a shot to stop the contractions. They said if that shot didn't work then they would try another and if that shot didn't work they would send me to the children's hospital that could take babies before 30w. Luckily the shot worked almost immediately after a 1/2 hour they were able to confirm the contractions wouldn't come back. They continued to monitor me for another couple hours and sent me home about 9:45. It was so scary. Way tooo soon for the babies to arrive! Yesterday I basically spent the day in bed and today I would have too only I had a baby shower so I went to that and now I am home resting again. I did have something that looked like maybe I lost my mucus plug so now again I am trying not to freak out but I am not sure what that means. This might be TMI but wondering if you might know what it was. It was slightly thinner than my pinky and slightly shorter. It was sort of off white or yellowish and sticky. Kind or reminded me of the glue they use for a lot of packaging. I had two of these. One was shorter than the other but basically the same thing. I don't think I have had any contractions today. I had a couple things that I was wondering about but I think it was just the babies rolling over. I am so nervous now. I just need to get to 30w at this point. Tomorrow I am 27w. Of course I don't want them to come at 30w but if I had to choose between now and then 30w is much better for the girls. If that was my mucus plug, I am wondering what that means. Do I have hours? All I know is I need tons of prayers. I have to go to work tomorrow morning but will call my doctor and he will probably put me on bedrest. My boss has been giving me a hard time for all my missed work so I can't call in tomorrow. She's probably the one sending me into PTL. She's mean and has no compassion. Anyhow, I need to call my OB tomorrow and am guessing he'll put me on disability/bed rest. So I am asking for all your prayers as we really need them right now. I'll keep you all updated as best as possible. Thanks ladies! God bless you all!

What's new

Well we are still working on the kitchen but its at least functional. All we have left is the back splash, which we have, we just haven't had time to install it and paint! All my appliances now match and I have a center island! I can't believe the transformation. My DH is my hero :) Well he always has been but he sure makes things happen if I want them to and I love that about him. Makes me a little spoiled but I try really really hard to be very very appreciative and thankful for all that he does.

He's been working so much lately though, he hasn't had a chance to finish up these last details. He's been leaving home at 5 a.m. and not getting home until nearly 9 p.m. some days. I think he's kind of nesting too in the sense that he's trying to build up some security (money-wise) for our baby girls who will be arriving hopefully mid-late August.

Tuesday night was our 3rd night of birthing classes. We got to tour the hospital where our girls will be born. It was so cool. I just love to be able to picture things and now I can. Since we are having twins we will labor in the labor room like everyone else but once we get close they take us down to the operating room and I will deliver there whether it be vaginally or c-section. They like to have you in the OR in case you are delivering vaginally and suddenly need a c-section. Of course if its a c-section we would need to be in the OR any way. Then we have a room to ourselves with our girls which is nice. I guess I was kind of worried we might have to share a room with one of those sheet partitions. Maybe that's just on TV. Then after the tour we had our regular class and we watched a video on a twins birth via c-section. I was so proud of DH. He's the one that whines and covers his eyes if there's too much gore on grey's lol. It was very quick (the video) but it wasn't that bad either and I keep telling him he doesn't have to see anything he can stay behind the blinder I will be behind, if he wants. I don't want him fainting. Luckily I only wanted our babies' birth to be the two of us since in the OR they won't let you have more than one birth coach. If I had crazy people trying to get involved in my labor I could have used that as an excuse but I don't so that's good :) I just think its too weird and a very intimate moment I want just DH and I and the babies to have.

Any how... the nursery is almost ready for paint. I think I am going to go get it tonight. I picked out the color its a light pink (that's not the creative name but to give you an idea). Our theme is lady bugs and there are some dragon flies and butterflies incorporated as well. You've probably seen it at BRU.

My first baby shower is this Sunday at my house. My sister and friend are throwing it for me. It will be just my friends well and my sister, mom, grandma, and MIL. You know they have to be at all my showers :) Which is fun and very much appreciated! I am really looking forward to my shower though. It's crazy here I am 24 1/2 weeks preggo with twins and I still find all this so unreal and amazing. I feel like there was a time when I figured I may never get pregnant and therefore no baby showers for me. I am so so very lucky! I wish everyone had insurance like mine that would give them at least one try at IVF if need be. If I hadn't had that luxury I would still be ttc going on 4 years next month.

What else... next week (5/27) we have a follow up u/s with the perinatalogist (sp?) to check on my low lying placenta. I am hoping and praying it has migrated north to a safe location to implant. I am really looking forward to seeing the girls again too! I am almost sure they are still laying horizontally like yin and yang. I think they might just be comfortable there. The peri told us last time if the girls get comfortable like that they won't move for the remainder of the pregnancy and therefore I will be having a c-section. I am really really torn on what I would prefer, c-section or vaginal birth. Actually I think I really would like to do a vaginal birth however, I would get paid 2 extra weeks with the c-section. I think I've mentioned this before. I guess its in God's hands and I will just let him decide. Either way I will have two beautiful baby girls in my arms when its all over.

Well I think this post has gone on and on to a quite lengthy babble. Hopefully I can post Sunday or Monday about my shower! Baby dust and prayers to all my IFer ladies and belly pats to my IFer graduate friends! (((HUGS)))

nesting

So the kitchen project is slowly but surely coming together. The cabinets are all painted white, the countertops are all re-done and now dh is framing in the window. Next we have to do the back splash, fix a couple floor tiles, replace the light over the sink, and paint! We really don't have to paint the entire kitchen but I feel like with the new counter tops we need to do a different wall color. Then the new fridge arrives on May 7 and our new microwave/range top should be here and ready to install on May 9th. I am so excited to finally have all matching appliances and our kitchen done! We really just needed the fridge and microwave to complete our stainless steel appliance look oh and a range hood but I was able to kill two birds with one stone getting the microwave with a built in range hood. I am mostly excited for the fridge to arrive! I just ordered it today. Its 1 door (kind of wanted the double door but saved a ton not getting it) but it does have the bottom freezer that dh and I wanted and an ice maker!! No more empty ice trays! YAY! It will also be nice to have the 2nd fridge for in the basement to have extra fridge/freezer space.

Next on my honey do list is finishing the basement. I know I am crazy! I don't even know where we will come up with all the money to make all this happen but I really want these things done and the basement is almost there really it is. We just need to do an egress window in the 4th bedroom, sheet rock, tape and paint. Also want to build a storage closet where we have a roughed in bar. Dh and I decided to ax the bar since he is now a recovering alcoholic so we just don't have a need for a bar anymore. Anyhow it will be great to have more storage space. Then once the storage closet and 4th bedroom are done, we just need to carpet the entire basement. That will be the biggest expense. I want to get the basement done though so we can move the guest room upstairs downstairs and turn the guestroom upstairs into the nursery! Plus I have a feeling we will have some guests staying with us after the baby girls arrive and really want them to have a comfortable place for them to stay. Hopefully not too comfortable that they don't leave LOL but I know my mom and sister will be a ton of help and I just want them to be comfortable too. Plus then the basement is done and we don't have to tackle it when the girls are crawling around, etc.

These are just goals or at least that's what I should be telling myself, realistically I have to keep in mind dh is only one guy who maybe able to do anything well almost anything, but this is a lot to throw on his plate knowing that I really can't do any of the work to help him. So as you can see my nesting is a bit ambitious and possibly unrealiztic but it is what it is. It's crazy, I just feel like things need to be done before our babies arrive. The hardest part is knowing the nursery is kind of bumped to the end of the list because of the order things have to take place. Just wish there was more I could do to help him. He's doing a great job trying to make things happen though and I am so lucky and happy for that. Anyhow, there's never a dull moment at our house these days. So much to do, so little time!

We're having...

Girls!!! OMG I can't even quite believe it but yet I am so excited and beside myself. I've already figured out the bedding and the decor of the nursery as of last night and we just found out yesterday morning! I really did want a boy and a girl but here I am head over heals in love with my baby girls!!! The crazy thing is I had this really weird almost scary dream the night before my u/s, I won't go into details b/c I would almost rather forget but the part that was good and interesting was the part where in my dream my doctor told me I was having 2 girls! I woke up and told dh and laughed and said something like yeah right. Anyhow, it was so amazing seeing them really looking like babies and kicking eachother and me! They are so beautiful and healthy and they are growing great and about the same pace which is awesome! Apparently they both weigh 12 oz each. The u/s tech said they basically weigh what a pop can weighs. So 24 oz of babies in me :) So fun!!! They are kicking more and more daily, yesterday I woke up to baby a kicking me. It was cute. I was thinking they are excited too! I've been talking to them for days about getting to see them this morning! Another interesting thing we found out yesterday was that we could possibly have identical twins since they are the same gender but we won't know for sure until they are born and they will run some genetic tests. I am almost positive they are fraternal but its still kind of crazy to think there could be a chance they could be identical. I think I would prefer they each have their own identity but whatever it be, it will be. Anyhow, I am so excited for their arrival and can't believe how much more real it feels that my dreams of being a mommy are coming true especially now knowing what the babies are. GIRLS! PINK PINK PINK :) Thank you God for these two beautifully perfect blessings and for answering our prayers.

MOM sale success :)

So I went to my first consignment sale that the group I joined "Moms of Mulitples" a(MOM) hosted today. It was crazy and chaotic and a bit stressful for a few moments only because there were so many great deals that I and everyone else didn't want to miss out on. Expecting moms were able to bring 1 escort. We were given a tour of where everything was at and then they let us start shopping about 5-10 minutes before they opened the doors to all members. There were some guidelines too, you had to buy their bag, it was the only one you could have, well you could buy more than one but the other catch was expecting moms could not carry anything thing, that was what their escort was for AND you had to be with your escort at all times. My mom was great though, I told her the most important thing I wanted to get was the double snap and go stroller which I noticed there were only 4 of and we were able to get 1 because she was all of it :) We managed to get almost everything on my list and other things I just couldn't pass up the great deals on for $168. We got the stroller, 2 indoor portable swings, 2 outdoor baby swings, a baby gym mat, 2 carseats & bases (which fit perfectly in the stroller), changing pad, breast feeding pillow, baby monitor, bottle warmer, and a bottle drying rack. Anyhow it was a great day! Next weekend my sister and I and my cousin who just had a baby in November and her sister (our cousins) are going to another sale. This one is just for babies not mulitples but that's fine. I am going to look for bouncy seats and bumbos and maybe the high chairs I want. I really want the chairs that clamp onto the table with having twins I don't really want to store big high chairs and these chairs that clamp to the table are portable so we can bring them to restaurants and our parents houses, etc. Anyhow, I am super excited about all the deals I was able to get today I bet I saved $300 at least! Now for the ugly part of the weekend, getting our taxes done :( I still need to get them together which I think I will be spending the evening doing. What a way to spend a Saturday night :/ Oh well, that's life for you balancing out the fun with the ugly lol.

Catch up in a nutshell

Okay ladies! I am horrible! I have been missing agin for 2 weeks! So here we go what's been up with me and the babies :)

Well dh is still working on the kitchen remodel. I am hoping he will finally be done with resurfacing the cabinets tomorrow or Monday at the latest (since Sunday is out). Then we just have the countertops which hopefully he can finish next weekend. Man does it BITE not having a kitchen. We've been spending tons of money on eating out and ordering in or I am grilling. Its challenging to say the least.

3/24 was a busy day, I had my 16 week doctor appt. It was short and sweet. I gained 14lbs so far but she said that was good. I also got to hear the babies heartbeats which were 144 and 130. The nurse said she's guessing girl and boy based on their heartrates but also that she was basing that on an old wives tale so we'll just have to wait and see. She also measured my belly and said I was measuring right on.

Then I took our truck into the shop to see what was making it squeal loudly all the time. Turned out to be a belt tensioner and would have been a $255 job but fortunately dh was able to fix it last weekend and it cost us about $50 instead and took him like 20 minutes to do it and voila no more squealing!

Also 3/24 was the very last day for my faith formation class. My mom and I have been teaching this same group of kids faith formation for 4 years! They are all going to be confirmed finally on 4/25. It was a great experience and hopefully we really helped the kids grow in their faith :) My brother and cousin were both in our group (we had 12 kids) and we taught them from 7th grade thru 10th grade so we really got to see them grow as young adults and in their faith. It is very nice though to finally close that chapter of the book too.

What else? Work is crazy busy as usual. I am finally in the 2nd tri and no longer naseaus all the time so that's great and I am feeling the babies! Just some flutters, popcorn like movement and some tapping like things but its amazing. Today they have been super active. I love it!!

It's Good Friday! We should be going to mass but we're not. We'll go on Easter though. Busy weekend ahead, tonight just taking it easy but tomorrow dh will be working on the kitchen. I have my regular alanon meeting tomorrow morning then I am meeting up with my sister, who is home from college, for lunch and maybe some shopping. Then I need to get home and get gathering our tax stuff so we can get our taxes done. BOY do I hate tax time. The government always screws us over. Poor dh works his a$$ off being a small business owner and we always get a slap in the face of reality come tax time. I hope I have a enough money squandered away so we don't have to owe the IRS like usual. Anyhow, back to the weekend plans. Sunday, Easter, we will go to church, then to my parents for brunch with my parents, siblings and grandma and then later head over to dh's parents for dinner with his parents and grandma.

Only 17 days until the BIG u/s! I can't wait :) I will try to get more regular with posting, things have just been crazy busy I guess. Happy Easter!

I've been MIA :(

Sorry all! Seems like life is flying by but in a good way :) I've been working on my registries and boy does it make me feel like I know absolutely nothing! Oh well, I guess I will just roll with it. It is fun but also overwhelming. We got our cribs and a changing table/dresser last weekend so that was fun and kind of a relief. I knew it was going to be a huge expense and I really wanted to get them sooner than later to sort of get the big purchase out of the way. We finally decided on white. I wanted to go with cherry since our woodwork in our house is cherry but it was so expensive and difficult to match. In the end I am glad we went with white. Its a nice contrast to the cherry and bright and baby like oh and I think it will make the nursery look bigger than it is. We went with the 4 in 1 so the babies are set now until they move out, we'll we will have to buy full size mattresses but that's it. So the cribs start as cribs then make into toddler beds with a rail to day beds to full size beds. I am glad to have that done and now I have joined a local group mom's of multiples and they are having a big sale of gently used baby stuff April 10 so I am excited to see if I can find some other big items like a stroller and car seats, etc. So much to do and buy and so little time. Or so it seems.

I have dh working on a small remodel of our kitchen. It needs to be completely re-done but for now we are painting all our cabinets white and painting the counter tops with this cool stuff that makes them look like black granite. Its taking longer than I thought it would. I didn't think about having to pull everything out of every drawer and cabinet. I feel bad because I am not supposed to paint so I am virtually helpless on this process. Well aside from being able to put all the stuff back.

I am feeling much better. 15 weeks and 2 days already and about 4 1/2 weeks until we get to see the babies again and hopefully find out what each of their sexes are :) I am really hoping that will give me a little more clarity on picking names. Right now I just have NO IDEA or I think I might know then I am like I don't know. Ugh! Its such a huge commitment and I can't figure out if I like the popular names or traditional names or religious names or whatever. I think I like them all and that's the problem, narrowing it down to the perfect names... might not happen until the babies are here at this rate!

I've been talking to the babies. My twin book said to talk to the babies now and to tell them what I am doing and to read out loud if I am reading, etc. I guess the more you talk to your babies the better communicators they will be. I think its silly and fun. I talk to them a lot and rub them. I am in love!

Well I hope everyone is having a safe and happy St. Patty's Day :)

Busy busy weekend!

Sorry its been a little while since I posted last! We had a very busy weekend starting on Friday and ending Monday night! Dh's brother and family came to visit and we hadn't seen them in over a year! Also we had plans with my brother and sister before we knew dh's brother and family were going to be in town so we decided to take Friday and Monday off to spend with dh's brother/family and stick with our plans for my sibs to come over Saturday and spend the night since we had that planned for like a month. We went to see Alice in Wonderland in 3D. It was interesting but not as good as I had thought it be. That's okay. It was still fun. Then we played Just Dance on Wii omg is that fun!!! and watched a movie. Its nice having some energy back! The babies definitely got a work out this weekend! Friday we spent the day with dh's brother, his wife, our nephew, and dh's parents. Dh and his brother pulled out all their old Legos and were doing "inventory" to determine what pieces they were missing. It wasn't much fun watching two grown men play with legos but it was fun to see them spending time together. My SIL and I played wii with my nephew. It's crazy how big he's getting. 6 1/2 already and getting taller by the minute. He also seems like he's calming down a bit. He's always been a pretty hyper kid. Pretty sure he has ADD/ADHD undiagnosed. Saturday before my brother and sister came over, dh and I did a ton of cleaning and moved the couches back FINALLY since we shuffled all the furnature one way to make room for the Christmas Tree back in November and I was trying to avoid lifting furnature but it just wasn't ever going to happen so we did it and boy did my back kill for the rest of the weekend! Bad bad plan but I felt so much better having our furnature moved so it was a bitter sweet move :) Sunday we went back to spend time with dh's family and spent the night. The boys went ice fishing with their dad and they asked my nephew if he wanted to go and he said no I want to stay with auntie. So cute! Usually its all about my hubs (uncle C) and he was loving me up. He is excited for the babies and even lightly rubbed my tummy which I was nervous he might do because he's always been so rough so I sort of jumped when he did it but it was really cute. Then Monday we took him to the Mall of America to go on rides at the indoor amusement park and dh and his brother really wanted to go to Legoland to see if they could finds some parts and my nephew enjoyed playing with all the legos too. I was able to sneak off at one point to go buy me a couple of bras. Thank God! I was going without all day b/c my boobs hurt so bad. I asked the lady at the store after I bought them if I could go put one on in the fitting room and she said sure and that it was one of the most common questions they get. Man are my boobs in heaven! Finally bras that fit! I hope my bbs don't get too much bigger, these are Large and they are made for bfing too so hoping I can get the most out of them but if not, at least I am comfortable for the first time in months! So the weekend was insane but fun and I only had to cook Saturday night and Sunday morning which my sister helped so it wasn't too much work. Now I am back to work and have so much to do and a headache to top it off. Hope the day goes fast. So far, that's not the case...

The world knows!!!

Well we finally told the rest of our families over the weekend and then I made an announcement on FB. Its really nice to finally be able to share our wonderful news with everyone but yet its a little overwhelming too. So here's how we told my mom's family (siblings and their children/my cousins, etc). My sister made me a very cute shirt that said on the front "I'm Pregnant..." and then on the back it said "with Twins!!!" and had two cute little babies (one on each side of the words). So anyhow, every winter for the past probably 5 years or so we've been celebrating all the kids' winter birthdays by renting a room at a local ski resort and having a ski/snowboarding day. Those that don't ski hang out in the room we rented in the shleigh. I of course couldn't ski this year so I was just hanging in the room and when people either arrived or came in from skiing/snowboarding they would double take on my shirt and congrats me, etc. It was fun to see everyone's reactions and it was really nice that I got to see almost all their reactions individually with the way it all worked out. I called my dad's siblings (my aunts/uncles) on Friday night. Told my mom's family Saturday and let dh's mom spread the news with her family whenever she wanted over the weekend. Sunday I made the FB announcement which was a bit difficult to do since I know what it feels like to see someone "pregnant" on FB when your struggling with IF can sometimes feel like a knife to the heart. I wish I wasn't a closet IFer and I could say "never lose hope, miracles do happen" but I am not strong enough and that's very unfortunate. Of course if I know someone is struggling with IF I will talk with them about it but just like me they usually aren't making it public knowledge either. I told work last week and my boss was very happy for me so that was a huge relief! She even gave me a hug! My belly is really showing now so I am glad I got that over with! Today is 13wks! I can't believe how fast it is going and how much better I am feeling each day! I hope its smooth sailing from here out, at least for the majority of the remainder of my pregnancy :) Its all worth it though I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Doctor Appt Update

So I had my 2nd OB appt yesterday. It went pretty well. I found out some more stuff but for the most part it was a quick appt and not too eventful. My doctor measured my pelvis and used the doppler to listen to the heartbeats which he said was really hard to do with twins because its hard to distinguish the two heartbeats. He found what I think was baby A's hb and then mine LOL and then possibly baby B's hb but he said its just hard to say for sure that we aren't hearing the first one's hb again but not to worry. So I won't. Then we talked about a few other things like my next OB appt will be in 4 weeks and they will do a blood test to test for some abnormalities like neural tubular defect, etc. Then he also put in an order to do the 4 quad check of the babies hearts and at that time we can find out the sexes so that will be in approximately 7 weeks. I can't wait to see the babies again and to find out what we're having!! :) He also sort of changed my due date to my 38 wk mark so I guess I will consider August 23, 2010 my due date... He said we won't let twin mommies go past 38 weeks so if you get to 38 wks we'll enduce your labor. He also said unless I already had a c-section they would hope for a natural birth. He said if both babies heads are down we'll go natural. If baby A(first baby) is head down but baby B is not they could either do natural and attempt to turn baby B or I could choose to do c-section which I will definitely opt for. I don't want baby B to go through that kind of stress. He said definitely if Baby A is not heads down or both babies are not heads down we'll do a c-section. I guess I am okay with the plan. I would really like to do natural birth but I don't want my babies to be in any risk by not doing c-section either. I will have to do more research but I know God will take care of us and maybe I will just let it be up to Him :)

Why??? Do people think everyone needs to know?

Ugh! I am so annoyed right now. So back when dh and I decided to do IVF and after a lot of thought, I decided to share with all our parents (dh's parents, my mom & stepdad, my dad & his gf), our siblings, and my grandma we were doing IVF. I decided that I wanted their prayers and support throughout the IVF process and it took a lot for me to do that. I concluded that it was more worth it to have their prayers and support than to have my pride. Well, I asked them all not to say anything to anyone and now that it has worked, everyone keeps asking me if we are going to tell people we did IVF. It really urks me especially since I have told them all multiple times NO. Granted I am a hormonal pregnant woman right now and it doesn't take much to irratate me off but seriously it's no one's business how we conceived! I mean, do I go around asking pregnant women and people with children how they got KU? No, its not important, relevant, nor my business. They also don't walk around with a sign on their foreheads that said we conceived one drunken night in a bathroom stall at a bar or whatever their story may be. Its a very private and intimate matter between the mother and the father and that most people if they need to fill in the blanks just do so in their head. Just because our story is more scientific doesn't make it any less private or intimate. It just really makes me almost regret telling these people (our family). Not all are being like that well basically they all are except for my sister and brother and I'm really not sure how dh's bro & SIL feel about it yet but I mean I feel like I have made it very clear my feelings on it. I will share it if I feel I can help someone and I won't lie if someone directly asks me (although I may be crabby about it because I think its utterly rude of them to ask such a personal question). I am just tired of having to reconfirm that I don't want my babies to be labeled invitro babies or for me and dh to be the talk of the town that we have conception issues. Not to mention we're catholic and catholic's don't all agree with AI, obviously some of us do, but it is a part of the catholic's belief that AI is not an option. Neither is birth control or sex before marriage and so yes admittedly I've sinned but I have been forgiven and I think in this case I disagree with the catholic belief but I do not want to be shunned because of it either. I like being catholic and I don't want to start a new faith for disagreeing with one or two things. I am sure there are people of all religions that might not agree with every single thing their religion stands for. Anyhow, enough religion babble. I am just annoyed with like say my MIL who was asked by her sister and BIL if dh and I were TTC and she says yes (eventhough she knew we were pg, she also knew we wanted to wait until after 1st tri to announce to the world) good, great but then she throws out there that she thinks I am doing hormone shots. OMG! WTH? Why would she say that?? Great so now she's created this room for them to possibly ask us about these shots when we announce we're having twins. I am just so annoyed. Its like why would you say anything? GRRRR! I love her and I hate her. She's not even religious and seems like it would be easy for her to lie and she technically did but did a horrible job about it! Good grief! And her sister is SOOOO nosey and not really that nice. She will probably ask us directly about it and I wouldn't doubt it if she asked us in front of the rest of the family for that matter. She has no tact or respect for boundaries. I think I will just say no I am not sure why MIL thought that, guess she was mistaken but I too don't want to lie, I just want to keep my business to myself. There's so much more I could say about that but I better leave it at that because I am getting more pissed off just thinking about it. So then last night my dad was like well your going to tell people right? I was like about what and he was like about the IVF and I said no I don't plan on it. He says well honey you know with twins people just assume. I was like DAD! Your brother and sister are fraternal twins, it is all genetic and not that far fetched! Let them draw their own conclusions. Again I told him its none of their business how we conceived and if directly asked I won't lie but I am not going around making it public knowledge. It just bugs me! I see where these people are coming from but they have no idea. Even after conquering IF I am still an IFer and I HATE how the world has no idea the pain of IF and the feeling of inadequacy. I don't want anyone that is ill willed or ignorant to come to the conclusion that God didn't want us to have babies or it would have happened for us or whatever idiotic thoughts some might have in regards to IF. I am very angry about this, I need to let it go. Live and let live. I am just tired of it haunting me daily lately. Sorry for the long rambled on blog, I needed to get that off my chest. Thanks for hearing me ladies. I hope I have not offended anyone, that was and never is my intention. (((HUGS)))

Posted baby pics :)

Well I thought I would post some of our baby u/s pics so everyone can see how cute they are :) I didn't have my blog started when I had my ultrasounds so I will just give some highlights. Our first u/s the nurse inserted the wand then quickly went from one side to the other. I thought to myself, hey lady slow down we wanna see too! Then she said well... and I my heart dropped I was like OH NO!!! Then she finishes and says what I am seeing here is two babies. OMG! I look at dh and he looked like a deer caught in headlights with a strange smirk I am not sure I've ever seen before. It was really cute. I said I told you they were both still in there :) It was crazy anyway though. I mean I thought for sure they were both in there but then the night before I had to bring myself down to reality and remind myself not to be disappointed or sound disappointed if they tell us there is just one baby so it was like I had convinced myself most likely there will just be one. I mean no matter what I was soooooo happy to finally be pregnant and would be happy no matter what so long as our baby(s) were healthy! And viola we find out we are having twins! :) It was amazing hearing their heartbeats. I think that was the most amazing part. It was cool seeing our babies too but they looked more like tiny dinosaurs than babies so the heartbeats really rang home with me more so than seeing them on the screen.

The next ultrasound was at my OB office just last Friday. It was awesome to confirm both still had stong heartbeats and were growing! This time they looked more like actual babies and baby B was bouncing and dancing around while baby A was sleeping which if I could have been I would have been too! Our appt was at 7:40 a.m.! Baby A did wake up and wiggle around some so that was good and the ultrasound tech said she thought baby A is a girl and Baby B is a boy. I kind of think that too because baby A is smaller by 2 days and Baby B would be like his dad (dad can't sit still) LOL! Two of my friends said they thought just the opposite. That girls are more active. I think I should do a poll or something to see what everyone thinks. Anyhow, hope you enjoy our baby pics!

One of those days...

Well I am having one of those days where it's only 9 a.m. and I am thinking I never should have gotten out of bed! First I am on my way into work walking across the parking lot from my car and I am just about to step off the parking lot onto the long sidewalk that heads to the entrance of the building and bam!!! I hit this lovely invisible sheet of ice and fly up in the air, one shoe goes flying into the snow bank on the other side of the sidewalk, I fall on my back (which has my backpack on it WITH... my laptop in it!!!) and my purse dumps out all over the sidewalk. Luckily I am just a little whiplashed no real damage and my backpack and purse seem to have braced my fall for the most part. I had two kind ladies witness the entire thing which was just fabulous! Well I guess if I really have issues, say tomorrow, I can still file a report with witnesses so maybe that's a good thing despite my mortification. I was in a hurry this morning and since I was going to wear some pumps (very short heels) I decided I didn't need dress socks so they help me up and I hop over with a bare foot to my shoe that is conveniently filled with snow all the way to the brim! I try my best to get it all out but its like powder so I end up putting on an ice cold, slightly snow filled shoe. Then I get up to my office with a very cold and wet foot, only to find that my laptop battery is cracked! OOPS! Good thing that's the most of the damage and that I am okay and my babies are fine. Could have been a lot worse!

So then about 5 minutes ago I almost pulled another pregnant moment and keep in mind, my boss and all but 3 co-worker/friends have NO clue I am pregnant (well at least that's what I am telling myself :)). Last week I accidently saved a file over another file (that was not mine) that had taken a whole year to produce and no one had back up! OMG! OOPS! Well IT was able to recover it but I had to admit that I did such a stupid stupid thing and I couldn't even use the pg card because like I mentioned no one knows yet! So anyhow I just got this email from a customer that was really rude. I was actually cc'd on it as he sent it to our meeting planner. Well I thought I would say something to her (the meeting planner) about it so I hit reply and say "WOW this guy is BOSSY!" and just as I am about to hit send I realize OMG I hit reply not FWD and this was just about to go straight to the customer! I would have been canned, I am sure, had I done that. So I immediately erased it and decided never to send something like that again, no matter what. I will just mention it to her in passing! Good grief is this day over yet because I need to get back in bed???!!!

Today's reflections

So I sit here thinking how crazy it is that I am already 11 weeks pregnant and in just 2 weeks, everyone will know we're pregnant and that we're pregnant with twins!!! Such a wonderful blessing or should I say blessingS from God. We prayed and prayed for a miracle and He finally gave us more than we ever could have hoped for. He gave us two beautiful miracles! It just seems so unreal that next year at this time we will have a full house :) Our babies will likely be crawling around by this time next year and to think last year at this time, I was almost coming to terms with possibly never being able to conceive our own children and contemplating doing IUI or IVF and whether or not we could afford to do either. I have so much to be thankful for and so much hope for anyone struggling with IF. A part of me thinks I should be very open with my IF struggles and my success with IVF with my non-IF friends/family but I still feel like its such a personal issue that only an IFer can truely understand so I guess you can say I am afraid to put myself out there. Which is so sad because there are others like me that can benefit from knowing my struggle if only they knew I was like them. I have two weeks to think about it, I guess. Its hard with twins, I think. I mean, my dad's siblings are actually twins so I guess I can use that card and my mother's cousin had twins and my dh's mother's cousins are twins so its not like it couldn't be hereditary and all but my dh's second cousins are fraternal twins but it just seems like people will assume you did some sort of IF treatment to end up with multiples. I guess that's just my paranoid thinking. I mean would I know that if I hadn't went through IF?